When it comes to intimacy, there are certain things a guy is bound to hear his lady partner say; and there are some things that he will never, ever hear come out of her mouth. Of course, run of the mill things like that feels good, or this is the best feeling ever are common, and all guys want to hear them; and she may even mean it! But there are some things that women simply aren’t thinking when it comes to bedroom talk. Here are 5 examples and why she will never say them, as well as some tips to keep the male organ healthy so she definitely won’t be saying, ewwww, what is that thing on his male organ?

1. Thanks for not using protection, arguing about using protection, or assuming that protection is 100% the woman’s responsibility.

Come on dudes, time to step it up in this department! If both partners have a vested interest in avoiding pregnancy – or intimate infections – both partners need to contribute to the cause. That means always having protection on hand and/or pitching in to pay for birth control.

2. My boyfriend is so awesome; he finishes his business without bothering to return the favor --- like ever. Pink belly is awesome!

Sure, sometimes one partner finishes before the other – maybe even sooner than desired – but when it happens to him, he should at least offer to help her get there, too, or promise her round 2 in 10 minutes where the focus will be entirely on her end game. Nobody likes a selfish lover.

3. It’s so cute that he told all his friends about that crazy move we tried – and every other detail that happens in the bedroom. Who needs privacy?

Sure, everybody has kissed and told someone, but nobody wants every little detail of their most intimate experiences shared with the world. This is especially true for a girl who is more modest and private regarding her love life. Nothing will catch her off guard like one of his jerk friends coming up, nudging her in the ribs, and saying how he wishes his girlfriend would do what she did last night. How embarrassing!

4. Blow jobs are really fun – and should be given daily!

Women get it; blow jobs can be amazing – especially if she knows what she’s doing. But constantly asking for them, pressuring, or begging for a BJ isn’t going to win any points. Even women who say they love doing it need a break from it every so often; after all, they don’t call it a job for nothing.

5. It’s totally cool to be surprised by kinky, new positions that have never been tried or discussed beforehand.

She may be totally into the new hand cuffs and gag ball he picked up at the adult shop the other day, but breaking out new equipment or fancy (re: difficult) new moves without so much as a heads up can take her by surprise – and maybe even cause an injury. Yes – many a male organ has been injured by new moves gone wrong. So it is wise to run that new toy, fantasy, or move by her before springing it on her in bed, especially if that new move has anything to do with the back door.

Managing Male organ Health

While she may or may not talk to her friends about her intimate life, there’s a good chance she will talk if her man is sporting something funky or unusual below the belt. To ensure she doesn’t find any male organ bumps, pimples, ingrown hairs, or worst of all – odor – a man should keep his whistle clean with a daily male organ health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) that is enriched with vitamins and nutrients that are specially formulated to keep the male organ healthy, clean, and bump free. That way, if she does talk, she will only have good things to report!