Do you have a defiant child? You are not alone. Unruly and defiant children are not exclusive to one type of family. There are found in the poorest, single parent families and the two parents, well educated, middle class family.

Case - Teenager is told she can't spend the night at a friend's house.

Reaction - Swearing, having a poor attitude, and storming out saying, "I'll do what I want". The police are little to no help. Legally she can come and go as she pleases.

Children often believe they can punish their parents until they get what they want. Though the consequences are much more dire, the actions and reactions are not much different than a three year old yelling and screaming until they get that cookie that they want.

Many parents resort to dragging their child to see a psychiatrist. This can go on for years with no progress being made. Many other opt for medications, trying dozens with no results.

Parents and children feel like they are on a roller coaster ride. Confrontations are heartbreaking. Arguments are very hurtful and punishing. Emotions run so high and nothing gets resolved. Sometimes when we are in pain, we want to cause pain right back. Just remember feelings that are soaring during these verbal battles are not 'forever feelings'. Things can be fixed!

If your child claims to hate you, don't be dismayed. How often as parents do you find yourself so angry with your child that you actually hate their company for a time? You don't hate your child anymore than they hate you. Adults are far more able to differentiate the difference while children are not so well equipped. The "I hate you" declaration usually means they hate what is happening at that moment.

Don't let your children bully you out of the rules you have established. You have established your rules for good and logical reasons. If you allow their behavior to alter these rules, then you have given them exactly what they want and teach them to behave that way the next time. Someone once defined "insanity" as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

Don't give up. Don't feel like a failure, your not! YOU are the parent. You may be feeling sad, embarrassed, frustrated, and at wit's end, but there is a way off the roller coaster.

Dr. Sharmistha Barai is a Child & Adolescent psychiatrist based in Saint Louis, Missouri, using her talents and expertise to treat clients for depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar and personality disorders. She specializes in general psycho-geriatrics, child and adolescent psychiatry, drug and alcohol. Dr. Barai completed a MBBS degree (medical degree equivalent) at Lady Hardings Medical College, in New Delhi, India (2002).
To read more, visit here: https://sharmisthabarai.wordpress.com