Men looking to spice things up in the bedroom – without studying a manual for hours or potentially pulling a muscle – may want to give a little hot talk a chance. Sure, not all women (or men for that matter) want to feel like they are starring in an adult film, but a few well-timed, enticing phrases might just push her over the edge. On the other hand, overdoing it can have the opposite effect, so a little restraint is also in order. Here are a few of the dos and don’ts of pillow talk, along with some tips for keeping the male organ healthy and clean, because only the talk in the bedroom should be dirty.

What Not to Say

• Let’s ditch the latex barriers: In the heat of the moment is not the time to have a discussion about ditching the protection. It doesn’t matter if it feels better, makes it better, or just looks better – the latex barrier talk is one to have with the clothes on, when everybody is thinking straight. End of story.

• The C-word, or other negative terms: Sure, adult films may make it seem like a good idea, but telling one’s girlfriend she is a dirty b, or calling her lady bits the c-word, is only good for one thing: stopping the action. Most women are highly offended by the use of such derogatory terms and will instantly shut down the love boat. Unless she has made it clear that she likes rough language like this, skip it.

• Excessive description: It’s pillow talk, she gets it, but there is a fine line between saying something feels good and using 12 dirty adjectives plus 4 unique descriptors for the male and female parts. Sometimes, less is more.

• Overly flowery statements: Again, comparing her lady bits to the sweet nectar of the rising sun is in no way turn-on for most women. It is either going to make her laugh, or roll her eyes, or just decide a guy is full of it call it a day.

• That doesn’t feel good: Of course she wants to do things the right way for her man, but telling her she’s bad at something is probably going to send her out the door. Instead of criticizing, say, “It feels even more amazing this way,” while demonstrating the action in question. She will likely be happy to comply.

What to say

• She looks hot: Women can feel insecure about their bodies during intimate encounters, so make sure she knows she looks fantastic. Tell her she is hot, beautiful, a goddess or whatever else feels natural. However, be sure to vary the compliments; being told she’s, “so hot” over and over and over again will start to lose its meaning and get downright annoying.

• What is working in bed: If there is a move that is working, don’t be afraid to tell her; she likes positive feedback that lets her know she is doing great. Likewise, it can never hurt to tell her how hot it would be to try that new position; however, if she says no, respect it and move on, because forcing the issue is only going to eject one from the bedroom.

• Her name: Most women are turned on by the sound of their name coming from a place of passion. Just be sure to moderate it, unless she is reciprocating; shouting her name 50 times in a row is irritating– and particularly embarrassing if she has a roommate.

• That he could go all night long: Sure, it’s impractical if there is work the next morning – and the statement may not even be true -- but letting her know how big of a turn-on she is and that intimacy with her is amazing and could go on forever will get her going.

• What she wants in bed: Letting her know that he is willing to fulfill any desire she has will get the creative juices flowing and help her feel she is in charge, which is an empowering feeling in the bedroom.

Keeping the male organ healthy

Getting a little dirty in the bedroom is one thing – after all, that is what showers are for – but coming into the bedroom dirty is entirely another. She wants a clean, fresh-smelling man coming into those freshly laundered sheets, not a stinky man that makes her wonder what on earth he was doing today, and whether or not she wants his hands on her. In order to be the former, always follow up every shower with an application of male organ health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) containing odor-fighting vitamin A. Simply apply after the shower and stay fresher, longer; and as a bonus, the rich mix of vitamins and amino acids can improve the overall look, feel and sensitivity level of the skin.