TRIO World Academy - Things you should not say to your kids during exam season
Exams have been elevated to monumental events in our society. The stress from examinations seems to grow as a child passes through school and then college. Parents can feel the heat from exam stress too. International school in Bangalore Maybe you have flashbacks from your own childhood. Parental anxiety and expectations inevitably transfer to the child, who apart from working to face the examinations, must now live up to a certain standard set by their parents. In fact, the whole family might be solely focused on the children's’ examination, affecting other priorities.
When tempers are short and anxiety runs high, we might end up exchanging words we may regret and cause long term harm to our child’s self-esteem. These may be good intentioned words that can make your child feel undermined at this crucial juncture of their school year. Staying calm can be a challenge during this season, schools in Bangalore but it is well worth the efforts. Sitting down with the teachers of your child’s international school may be a great way to get a clear perspective on your child’s strengths and challenges.
Here are some things you must avoid saying, not just during exams, but at any point:
1. Why are you being so lazy? / Shouldn’t you be studying?: Like any name-calling, labelling your child as lazy will not motivate them to work harder, at least not willingly. It is a label that is the opposite of successful, respectable, hard working and many other things that our society holds in high regard. Being labeled lazy can cause much more harm than you might expect. icse schools in Bangalore
There could be many factors why your child may not be studying. Instead of being vague and blunt, consider these alternative scenarios: Is your child tired from putting in too much effort? Are they too stressed out? Are they suffering from health issues? Are there so many things on their plate right now that they are distracted? Sit down with them and figure out the problem before prematurely labelling them as lazy or incompetent. Preschools in hsr layout
2. You are so dumb/stupid: As with other labeling and name calling, an insensitive remark during a stressful time can make a child believe that they are dumb or stupid and that it is a label they are stuck with. You are not giving him/her any means to get out of the situation they are in. day care in hsr layout
3. Look at your sibling/peer. He/she is so much better at… : How many of us like being compared to others? Not even grownups appreciate being told that someone else is better than them. Being compared to a sibling or a peer undercuts whatever your child has achieved, causing them to think that their progress doesn’t matter.
4. You should be an example to your sibling: Your child should be encouraged to excel at what is right for them. The crucial point here is the happiness, growth and personal success of your child, not aspirations for what they can be to someone else.
5. Your scores are great but… “… Mr.K’s child got 4 marks more” or “Who scored the highest?”. Similar to peer comparisons, telling a child that they just fell short,even if their achievements are commendable, can cause them to lose faith in their abilities and not value their achievements.
6. You are so smart. You will be able to score well always: Telling a child that they are smart does boost their self-esteem, but it also diminishes the value of effort. It also sets a standard that a child may not always live up to. If they fail at a test, the child might think that they are not smart anymore, instead of figuring out a new strategy to improve their test scores. This might also make a child avoid taking up challenges that they may fail at because of the ‘smart’ label they now have to carry.
Taking care to avoid using these phrases and questions in our conversations with our children can go a long way in strengthening their self-confidence and aiding their studies at an international school.
In the following blog, we will talk about the things that you can say to your child more often.
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