Domestic violence or intimate partner violence (IPV) is “described as the power misused by one adult in a relationship through violence to control another” (National Center for Biotechnology Information, 2008). The violence may take form through physical, social, financial, sexual, and psychological abuse. Any actions of a partner which aims to control, suppress, or force the other partner is considered as domestic violence.

Though there are some male victims involved, majority of the victims are female. In 2015, the investigation of the Post and Courier revealed that women die at a rate of one in every 12 days because of domestic violence. Their data also showed that more than 300 women in South Carolina alone have been shot, stabbed, strangled, beaten, bludgeoned, or burned to death by men over the past decade.

According to Lisa Firestone (2012) in Psychology Today, there are two emotional dynamics which strongly provokes domestic violence. One is a destructive thought process or the critical inner voice that abusers experience towards their partners and even to themselves. Example of these thoughts is “You’re not a man if you don’t control her” or “She is making a fool out of you”. The other involves a harmful illusion of connection between the couple or referred as fantasy bond. It is an illusion that gives a person a feeling that he/she cannot live alone without his/her partner which makes it easier for a partner to abuse the other as they begin to see each other as the extension of themselves, not as two different individuals.

You may notice in television shows and even in real life that a woman being abused continuously lived with her abusive husband. There are some reasons for this and one of them is the fantasy bond. Because the abused feel that she cannot live without her husband, she chooses to stay in the relationship though she experienced abuse.

Self-blaming is also one of the contributing factor why victims choose to stay. They think that they are lacking and blame themselves for not being good enough thus being beaten by their abusers is their punishment and they must accept it.

Another factor for domestic violence to persist is the belief that it will not happen again. This situation is not uncommon. Sometimes after the abuser has physically hurt the victim, he would assure that that it will never happen again and then they will be fine for a day or two. However, this is absolutely not true. Once the abuse has taken place, it will happen again and again and there is no way to stop it unless the victim chooses to not get hurt anymore.

When a person gets continuously abuse, she will more likely to develop learned helplessness. Learned helplessness happens when a human or animal has been exposed to painful or unpleasant situations in which they learned to be helpless or unable to control the situation even though they have a way to escape these said situations. In case of domestic violence, victims have “learned” that they cannot do anything if their abusers started to assault them.

These abusers or perpetrators deserve to be punished. A domestic violence injunction is a civil or restraining order which offers protection to victims of domestic violence. You deserve to be protected. For your protection against the abusers, call Marquez-Kelly Law in Cape Coral and Fort Myers, FL at 239-214-0403 for help. Or visit our site at https://www.marquezkellylaw.com/.

Everybody deserves to be happy and to be safe. For all domestic violence victims, you do not deserve to be abused nor punished. You are not lacking. You are perfect in every way and the one who is lacking is the person who abused you. You are an independent woman. You can live without that abusive man calling himself as your husband. Only you can stop the abuse.

Sources:
Domestic violence and abusive relationships: Research review. (2015, August 25).
Doug Pardue, Glenn Smith, Jennifer Berry Hawes and Natalie Caula Hauff. (2014, August 19). Till death do us part: A Post and Courier Special Report.
Lisa Firestone. (2012). Why Domestic Violence Occurs and How to Stop It.
Kaur, R., & Garg, S. (2008, April). Addressing Domestic Violence Against Women: An Unfinished Agenda.