Getting a divorce is already mind cracking. Telling it to the children is another matter. The people who will be the most affected in a divorce are the children. Even though parents experienced heartbreak, children will also experienced the same if they found out that their parents are getting a divorce. Here are some tips on how to tell the news to the children.
The decision is final.
Unless you and your spouse is certain, refrain from telling the children about divorce. Keep it yourself until your decision of getting a divorce is final. Telling them a possibility might confuse them and affect their performance at school and at home.
Timing is everything.
Choosing the right time to break the news can make all the difference. It is important that you and your spouse are emotionally ready to support the kids at the time you tell them about getting a divorce. Do not tell them before important moments such before graduation, exam, prom, Christmas, birthdays, etc.
Do it as a team.
Though you and your spouse disagree about everything else, when telling the kids try to agree on what to say and when to say it. Saying it together conveys that it was a mutual decision. This also preserve the child’s trust in both parents.
Not the kids’ fault.
Upon hearing the news, children will inevitably blame themselves for their parents’ separation. They may not show it but they are thinking that their parents are having a divorce because of them. It is important to assure them that you, getting a divorce, is not their fault.
No one’s fault. Avoid the blame game.
Though you might think that your spouse is at fault for the divorce, avoid blaming him/her especially in front of the kids. Children may take this as betrayal when they found out that one of you is at fault. You may also indirectly give the children a reason to choose sides. It is not emotionally healthy for children to have someone to blame for the separation of their parents.
Avoid sharing inappropriate details.
Discussing adult details should be prohibited especially when children are too young to understand the situation. Details of divorce should be kept from them. Focus more on the support that your children need.
For family law matters, attorney Mellany Marquez-Kelly of Marquez-Kelly Law will always be there to help you. Whether you need a divorce, adoption, arrangement modification, or domestic violence injunctions, she will aggressively fight for your right.
Call us at 239-214-0403. Our legal services serve the areas near Cape Coral and Fort Myers in Florida.