When a relationship is breaking up, and we want to keep it together, we generally start doing all the wrong things. We let our emotions and upset take over and rationality goes out of the window. If you're looking at saving a relationship, then there are things that you can do to start rebuilding your bond and things which will make matters worse. Find out why actions definitely speak louder than words when you are trying to save a relationship or win back your ex.

Firstly, and most importantly, when trying to save a relationship, you must get a grip on yourself and your emotions. If you're hurt and upset, you may think that trying to convince your partner that getting back together and sorting things out is the way forward. Unfortunately, this often has the reverse effect. When you try to convince someone of what is best for them, they will resist and become defensive. They will see through your words to the fact that you are really trying to get what you want and make yourself feel better.

Your upset and desperation come across as negative and this makes you appear less attractive. This does not help the process of saving a relationship and it is not the kind of behaviour which brings you closer to your partner. However hurt you feel, now is the time that you need to show your most attractive qualities. Begging and pleading show that you place a low value upon yourself. Your partner will adopt this value of you too. And you will only end up pushing them further away.

The only way to save a relationship or get an ex back is to offer a win-win situation. This means that you have to make yourself appear more attractive in their eyes, not less. Whereas begging and pleading make you appear weak, holding your head high and getting on with and enjoying your life makes you appear strong and attractive. When you are showing that other people enjoy your company and you are having fun, then you appear more valuable and interesting. Although this can be difficult, when you show a partner or ex that you don't need them, that is when they will start having doubts about whether they are doing the right thing in letting you go.

When saving a relationship then it is obvious that changes need to be made. If you carry on as before, then nothing will change and the relationship cannot be saved. But saying that you are going to change is not enough. You have to show that you are changing. And, if your partner doesn't immediately respond in the way that you want, then carrying on getting upset is also a mistake that won't bring your partner back. You need to show that you can be cool in the face of rejection. Once again, your actions will speak louder than any words.

You need to realise that you are dealing with a human being and they have no obligation to meet your needs unless they so choose. Only when you are communicating in the right way, will you get back on track and start to repair your relationship. When you learn to appreciate and respect, and communicate in a positive manner, then you can start to repair the damage and give your relationship a chance to get back on track. When you start to show, not tell, that you will make a good partner again, that's when it will start to come together for you.

So, when you are trying to save a relationship, the way you act is the most important thing. Words are secondary. When you act and speak in negative ways, you will damage your relationship more. Only staying positive will help you now so make sure you act only in ways that show you are an attractive partner. If you want to save a relationship or get an ex back you must commit to a new positive you.