ARIEL-New research published in “It Happened on Tinder: Reflections and Studies on Internet-Infused Dating” (Institute of Network Cultures, Amsterdam 2019) entitled “A match made in the cloud: Jews, Rabbis, and online dating sites,”co-authored by Professor Yoel Cohen of the Moskowitz School for Communications at Ariel University and Professor Ruth Tsuria, Assistant Professor at Seton Hall University College of Communication and the Arts, looks at the broadening attitudes of religious leaders in Israel for and against the use of modern technology as a matchmaking tool. The authors explore the opinions of a variety of rabbis representing different streams of Judaism.

Marriage and establishing a family are the social cornerstones of Judaism. Typically, in more religious communities, matchmaking is arranged and “set” by traditional marriage brokers. In today’s modern world, where dating applications and websites are prevalent, how do Israel’s rabbis view this trend? According to Cohen, "There is an agreement among all rabbis that new media contributes to finding a match. There is a high inclination to agree, with at least 72% agreeing at least ’to some extent’.”

Given that the internet itself is a matter of great controversy among religious groups in Judaism – particularly among the ultra-Orthodox, but not exclusively – it is instructive to examine how marriage behavior among religious Jews has been affected by information technology.

In his 2011 study among Israeli Jews, Cohen examined how the religious media tackled (or failed to tackle) sex-related matters and how different religious communities have come to terms, or otherwise, with information technology. “Research about the impact of dating sites among religious communities is remarkably absent.” To fill this gap, Cohen examined religious websites used by observant Jews and attitudes of rabbis to the online dating phenomenon. Given the deep concerns among rabbis about the internet, coupled with the superior value given by rabbis to marriage as a religious goal, it is relevant to examine how rabbis have negotiated the dilemma. The data identifies a variety of positions among rabbis regarding their attitudes to online dating. There are those who seek to benefit from the virtues of the new media and all that it suggests. At the other extreme are those who reject any internet-related activities. In the middle are those who cautiously use these websites, but in parallel also recommend not relying entirely upon the sites but also involving people who are acquainted with the person.

A poll of 330 Israel rabbis (from different religious streams including Haredi rabbis; Haredi leumi rabbis; modern orthodox (dati leumi) rabbis; conservative rabbis; and reform rabbis) was carried out to survey various attitudes, including the question of online dating, and specifically whether in the view of rabbis, new media contributed to matchmaking.

Key Points:

1. Clear differences found among the rabbis included in the survey were categorized according to religious stream and rabbinical occupation. Haredi rabbis were much less inclined than rabbis of other streams to agree "to a large extent" or "to a very large extent" to the questions raised. Yet, Haredi rabbis did not reject this revolutionary path of finding a match from the traditional off-line shadchan or matchmaker, which has characterized the Haredi community over hundreds of years. Truer, only 10% of Haredi rabbis agreed "to a large extent " or "very large extent" but a further thirty-seven per cent of the Haredi rabbis did agree to the idea "to some extent". Another 31% agreed, if only "to a small degree". Only one-fifth (22%) of the Haredi rabbis opted for "not at all".

2. Noteworthy is the fact that Hardal (Haredi Leumi) rabbis, despite their general opposition to exposure to the wider society, were far closer to mainstream Modern Orthodox than they were to the Haredi rabbis on the question of whether media contributes to matchmaking: 43% of the Haredi Leumi rabbis agreed "to a very large extent" or "to a large extent" in contrast to 49% of mainstream Modern Orthodox. Moreover, only 11% of Haredi Leumi rabbis agreed "only to a small degree" or "not at all" in contrast to 18% of mainstream Modern Orthodox rabbis who are regarded as more open on cultural matters. Forty-five percent of Hardal (Haredi Leumi) rabbis replied "to some extent" on this question.

3. Also noteworthy is the proximity of Conservative and Modern Orthodox rabbis on this question. Forty-five per cent of Conservatives replied that new media could contribute to matchmaking "to a large extent" or "to a very great extent" (Modern Orthodox 48%), and 17% of the Conservatives replied "not at all" (Modern Orthodox 17%). This may reflect a more general proximity between these two streams regarding some Jewish issues.
4. The rabbinical occupation influenced attitudes toward internet matchmaking. Among the community rabbis, 51% considered new media a good way to get a date "to a very large extent" or "to a large extent", in contrast to only 36% of rabbis employed as yeshiva teachers. Dayanim (judges in religious courts) took an even more skeptical position, with only 22% giving a green light to internet matchmaking. Finally, the most skeptical were “avrechim” (rabbis who study fulltime in a yeshiva): only 15% of them agreed "to a very great extent" or "to a great extent" that internet matchmaking has a positive value. This reflects how community rabbis understand the needs - and pain- of singlehood.

5. With regard to the Jewish religious prohibition of social gossip - loshon hara - there was a tendency among rabbis who agreed that social networks may incur social gossip - not to think that new media is useful for matchmaking. Thus, only 29% and 45% of those who were concerned that social networks may result in social gossip agreed to a "very great extent" or "to a large extent" that new media contributes to matchmaking. In comparison, 69% of those respondents who were inclined to disagree that social networking leads to social gossiping agreed to "a very great extent" and "a great extent" that new media helps matchmaking. Thirty-two per cent of those who "agreed a lot" that social networking may cause social gossip did not "agree at all" or "only to a small extent" that new media can contribute to matchmaking for purposes of marriage. It seems that rabbis’ general attitude towards the use of new media for socializing impacted to some degree their attitudes towards online dating.
6. Similarly, there was some limited correlation between a rabbi's views on whether Internet damages the Jewish rule of modesty or not and whether the rabbi thought that news media could contribute to matchmaking. 59% and 47% of those rabbis who were "inclined to disagree" or did "not agree at all" respectively that Internet damaged modesty agreed "to a very great extent' or to a great extent" that new media contributes to matchmaking.
7. Does the rabbis' usage of new media have an impact on their attitude toward Internet dating? Indeed, the data shows that there was a close relationship between a rabbi's usage of new media and whether the rabbi thought that matchmaking was advanced by new media: the more the rabbi used new media, the more he was inclined to agree that matchmaking was advanced by new media. 58% and 50% of rabbis who used the internet "to a very great extent" or to a "great extent" respectively agreed "to a very great extent" or to a great extent' that new media helped matchmaking. By contrast, only 13% and 22% of rabbis who did not surf the Internet "at all" or only "to a small degree" agreed to "a great extent" or to "a very great extent".

Yoel Cohen
Yoel Cohen is an Associate Professor at Ariel University’s Moskowitz School of Communications, serving a its Head in 2009-2011. His research interests include media and religion in Israel and Judaism; religion and news; foreign news reporting; defence and the media. He completed a doctorate in political sociology at City University London. His book publications include Spiritual News: Reporting Religion Around the World; God, Jews & the Media: Religion & Israel’s Media; Whistleblowers and the Bomb: Vanunu, Israel and Nuclear Secrecy; and Media Diplomacy: The Foreign Office in the Mass Communications Age. His research has appeared in the Harvard International Journal of Press/Politics; Gazette; Journal of Media & Religion; Israel Affairs; Review of International Affairs; Encyclopedia of Religion, Communication & Media. He was departmental editor on Israel Media in the Encyclopaedia Judaica.