Posted May 19, 2020 by msarahhobson
Divorce filings are and will continue to increase post pandemic because individuals were forced to face the music while being forced to shelter in place.
Why are divorce rates going up since the pandemic? Prior to nation-wide shelter-in-place orders stemming from the Covid19 pandemic, we were a country of individuals who found no shortage of what I call pain numbers. You could even say we were intentionally distracting ourselves from the problems and realities of our relationships. We had that luxury. The relationships we have with our partners, our spouses, our children, our parents, our fair-weather-friends: there was no shortage of ways to put those conscious thoughts and feelings of despair, abandonment, unworthiness, and loneliness to the wayside. If your wife was binge drinking again, you could just work late at the office and then put in some reps at the gym after work. She’d surely be passed out or attached to her phone by the time you got home. If you were experiencing temper tantrums in your child, you could just bury your head in work and make a mental note to “one day” get them some therapy because you just didn’t have the time right now. If your parents were being toxic towards your spouse you could avoid the tough conversations because life was so busy. When your husband was being emotionally abusive to you while in the company of friends…again, you could dry your tears with some good old fashioned retail therapy. But when we were forced to stop life as we knew it, many of us experienced something similar. We felt vulnerable. It felt like we were being forcefully submerged in the muck of bad relationships. We had nowhere to hide. One can only walk the neighborhood so many times before everyone knows you are just avoiding your family inside the house. It may have felt that the world had stopped spinning and the broken promises and failed dreams and the emotional trauma that you had been running from was suspended in mid-air. Right.In.Your.Face. Some people decided to just accept their failed marriage. Afterall, they’d suffered this long, what is another ten years? However, many more people made a different decision, in my opinion. Instead of running away from the music, they made a vow to face it. They discovered their immortality and instead of dampening the feelings that came with that discovery with a glass of pinot grigio, they decided to pivot. They decided they weren’t going to tolerate the toxicity. Instead, they would repair the relationships they could and end the ones they couldn’t. It is interesting in times of crisis there are those who find a way to use the experience as an opportunity. During the Great Depression, many people starved. Yet, many people found a way to scratch a good living for themselves. Many companies that are thriving today were birthed in the shadows of the Great Depression. I believe more people are filing for divorce now after the pandemic, because they’ve realized there is just a fragile veil between life and death and they want to make the most of their experience with the one life they’ve been given. With all the attention that has been devoted to staying alive and healthy lately, perhaps they couldn’t ignore the glaring hypocrisy in their attitude towards their toxic marital relationships. We are a resilient people. Divorce is never easy, but when people are forced to face the untenable reality of their miserable marriage, it gives them just the dose of courage a reasonable person needs to stand up and protect their emotional and mental health.
Sarah Hobson is the Owner/Managing Partner of Hobson & Hobson, P.C. located at 136 Fairground St NE, Marietta, GA 30060. To learn more you can reach her Firm at (770) 425-3373 or please find us on Google: Hobson & Hobson, P.C.